Trailers: Top 11 Most Anticipated E3 2014 Video Games

Here’s a look at the top 11 most talked about games to come out of the 2014 Electronic Entertainment Expo (randomly ordered, of course), along with my first impressions of the trailers, whether or not I’d throw any money at those games, and when exactly you can throw money at those games, provided you want to.

Note: For the “Will I Buy It” sections, let’s just assume I have a giant stockpile of cash I am able to spend willy nilly, but am still moderately stingy about it (which, let’s be real, is exactly what would happen if I were to ever become rich) instead of the flat broke, Can’t Even Afford The Consoles For These Let Alone The Games Themselves person that I actually am. Let’s get to the list!

1. Dragon Age: Inquisiton (PC, Xbox 360, Xbox One, PS3, PS4)

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Saints Row IV DLC: “Enter the Dominatrix”

With a title like that, this shit’s gotta be good.

Enter the Dominatrix might sound like the name of a porny spoof of Enter the Matrix (à la Lord of the Cock Rings, Pulp Friction, Grand Theft Orgy, Hairy Twatter, etc etc – don’t ask me why I know so many of these), but players of the pun-heavy Saints Row IV will be unsurprised to find that it’s actually the title of the game’s first DLC. They will be equally unsurprised to discover that some of the new missions involve velociraptors, and men in fetish suits and bondage gear miming jacking off on you.

Ridiculousness has been the name of the game for this alien-infested installment of Saints Row, but this is a whole ‘nother level of WTF. And I love it. Take my money, Volition.

Enter the Dominatrix was released for PS3, Xbox 360, and PC earlier today. Catch a glimpse of the action you’ll be getting in this DLC trailer.

“BioShock Infinite” Video Game Trailer

“One thing I’ve learned: if you don’t draw first, you don’t get to draw at all.”

I admit that I’ve been pretty lax in keeping with video game news lately (I’ve been busy, alright?) I was vaguely aware that Irrational Games was making another installment in the BioShock series, and I was pretty sure that that was a good thing, but after viewing the latest trailer for BioShock Infinite, I am so ridiculously beyond excited for it.

I got into the first game of the first-person shooter series a few years ago (I stole it and the requisite console from my brother, as per usual). It’s been awhile since I’ve played it, but from what I remember, I loved BioShock because of the immersive storyline and the setting’s dark and moody atmosphere.

Unfortunately, the much anticipated sequel, BioShock 2, was released during a time where I was way too busy to game, so the game pretty much fell off my radar for a good long while.

Thanks to the magical wonders of YouTube, however, I was reminded of BioShock‘s existence via badass two minute long game trailer, which you can view below:

The game’s main protagonist is Booker DeWitt, a man who owes gambling debts to some very unpleasant people. To work off the debt, they send him to find a young woman named Elizabeth and bring her back – but naturally, that’s not so easy a task. Apparently, we will only be able to control Booker in-game, but once we find Elizabeth she tags along as an AI controlled character (which is good, because she looks like an interesting and promising addition).

The game looks like it’s going to be gory and gruesome as hell, and the setting – a floating city called Columbia – is a lot brighter and hopefully a little more varied than in the previous installments. The graphics look great, the dialogue is cheesy (but amusingly so), and the bits of action and gameplay that we get to see in the trailer look like they would be fun to play through (and I’m already not that huge a fan of first-person shooters, so when I say I enjoyed BioShock‘s gameplay, that’s really saying something).

BioShock Infinite is due to be released on March 26. I want it to be released right now, so I can spend the rest of my finals week/spring break holed up in my room with it.

Have you played BioShock and/or BioShock 2? Are you as excited as I am for this third installment in the series? Comment below!