For those of you that were “too fucking busy,” according to Frank, here’s what you missed last week on Shameless. Fiona is still shaky about her relationship with her hubby, Gus, and her feelings for her former crush, Sean, have resurfaced. Lip started an affair with his professor, Helene, who is married but has some sort of “hall pass” agreement with her husband. Frank fell in love with Bianca, a young doctor who has terminal cancer, Kev and V have moved back in together after temporarily separating, and Sammi had Ian arrested by turning him in to the military for going AWOL and hot-wiring a helicopter.
Bianca and Frank go out to buy some whiskey, and while Frank tries to teach Bianca about what kind of single malt whiskey is the best, she surprises both Frank and the clerk by purchasing the most expensive bottle of whiskey the store has to offer — a $10,000 whiskey from World War II.
Bianca and Frank end up drinking the whiskey on the roof of a building, and Bianca gets the idea to stand at the ledge and get a thrilling view of the city. When Frank reluctantly joins her, he ends up losing his balance and spills $600 worth of whiskey over the edge of the building. They decide to go somewhere else that involves solid ground after the incident.
The two go to the train tracks (about as safe as the ledge) to drink whiskey and talk, and Bianca gets a bat-shit crazy idea to have sex on the train tracks. Although Frank complies, he freaks out when a train heads towards them as Bianca is climaxing. Luckily they roll off the tracks just in time, but he and Bianca have a misunderstanding over what “living life to the fullest” means. Frank argues that he has a “brand new liver he’s not ready to slice into pieces,” and Bianca apologizes for putting him in danger, and decides to respect his point of view. She tells him she is glad they understand each other now, but also makes sure Frank knows that what she does is her decision, to which Frank begins wailing — but he isn’t upset about Bianca making her own decisions. Instead, he has just remembered that the $10,000 bottle of whiskey was left on the tracks, and is now mourning over its loss.
On their way to the Gallagher house, Bianca and Frank end up scaring the crap out of Mickey and Debbie, who were suspiciously hanging out by a moving crate. They leave the two of them alone with their crate and go inside to smoke crack, something Bianca’s never tried before. She stays the night in what appears to be Fiona’s room, and wakes up to find her entire family surrounding the door of the bedroom, ready to take her to the hospital for chemotherapy. Bianca demands to know why they followed her to the house, and threatens to call the police. Her sister claims that Bianca texted her the address asking to be taken to therapy, which Bianca honestly denies.
She then realizes that it was Frank who texted her sister. He was under the impression that Bianca going through with chemotherapy would give them more time together because he feels the two of them have a connection, but Bianca doesn’t find his care for her charming. “I am not in love with you, Frank,” she deadpans, and tells her family to go outside and wait for her, making them think she is cooperating and doing chemo. She reveals to Frank that she’s not going to the hospital after all and decides to go to Costa Rica instead. Frank thinks he is going to join her, but as Bianca leaves the room, she looks him straight in the eye and bids him farewell.
Frank ends up catching up to her and stops the cab before she leaves the neighborhood. He shows her his fake passport and climbs into the cab with her as they head to, I’m assuming, the nearest airport.
Fiona goes to work and ends up telling Sean about her turbulent home life. She tells him that she hates Sammi for turning in both Carl and Ian. Sean offers to help her when she tells him that she needs a ride to visit Ian in military prison out of town.
Sean crams Fiona, Debbie, Liam, and Mickey into his car and drives the lot of them up to visit Ian. During the meeting, they all tell the authorities about Ian’s bipolar disorder and beg them to release him on account of his mental illness. After the meeting, Fiona gets a call from Gus and finds out his tour got cancelled. He says he’ll be in town in a couple days, and wants to work on their marriage again.
Sean drives her home, and offers to treat her to dinner for the rough day she’s had. The two go to Patsy’s Pies, which is closed and empty, and Sean makes Fiona eggs and hash browns for dinner while Fiona ignores a call from Gus. They dance around and have a good time together until the wee hours. They even discuss having a relationship together, but Fiona is of course married. “If you and I were gonna have something real, it wouldn’t start tonight,” she tells Sean. As dawn is breaking, she tells Sean that she talked to Gus that night. She didn’t tell Gus about any of the things she told Sean, about Ian’s being arrested and having to visit him in military prison. The distance Gus put between him and Fiona by going on tour hasn’t seemed to have worked in their marriage’s favor. Instead, Fiona became even closer to Sean, someone she knows she shouldn’t be with.
She just wants them all, doesn’t she? Let’s look at her man-drama pattern this season. It goes: Sean, Davis (remember, Gus’s sleazy bandmate?), Gus, Jimmy, Gus, Sean. Fiona, your “slut quota” needs to stop, girl. I wonder what her marriage will come to at this rate…
After their conversation about her phone call with Gus, Sean lets Fiona drift off to sleep on the booth.
At college, Lip finishes having sex with Helene in his dorm room, and she tells him about a party she wants him to go to so he can network with an astrophysicist friend of hers. He also tells Helene about having to go out of town to visit Ian, and he ends up getting a ride with Helene’s husband, Theo, on his scooter.
After Ian’s meeting, Helene picks him up for the party and brings him cocktail attire to change into. At the party, he bumps into Theo again and talks to him privately about the weirdness of the affair. As he is telling Lip he doesn’t have a problem with him being around, he notices that Lip is wearing his tie and becomes a bit concerned about it. The awkward discovery is sidelined by Helene wanting to introduce Lip to the host of the party, who turns out to be a bit of a pompous douchebag. Lip gives the host a very subtle piece of his mind, then excuses himself for a smoke.
As Lip is outside smoking, he accidentally encounters a stranger taking a leak in the front yard. Lip ends up introducing himself to the stranger, and he finds out he is the friend Helene was meaning to introduce to him. They all agree that the party is lame, and Lip, his new friend Norbert, Helene and Theo all go out to grab dinner.
On their way out, they encounter V and Kev, who are soaking wet from their flood fiasco at the Alibi, and Lip is glad to see the two are happy with each other again.
Kevin and Veronica
Kev got kicked out of Lip’s dorm and came back to live with V and his twin baby daughters, but they’re still not on good terms with each other. Svetlana is still there, cooking, cleaning, and “orally manipulating sexual organs” as her wifely duties. V gets a call from an employee at the Alibi, finds out there is a broken pipe flooding the main room, and needs Kev go out and help her fix it. Their friend and regular at the bar, Tommy, ends up helping them fix the flood and V and Kev continue to argue about their marriage as they’re draining the flood. V tells Kev about her bogus date, and Kev tells V about all the co-eds he had sex with. The news doesn’t sit well with either of them and they both blow off steam as they try to clean up the mess, literally and figuratively.
It turns out, there’s nothing like spending time together fixing a flood to get a marriage back together. Kev admits he really wants to have sex with V again, and the two go at it on the pool table right underneath the broken pipe. Tommy walks in on them, shrugs, and leaves with a bottle of liquor, with V and Kev none the wiser.
Debbie and Mickey
The two are intent on torturing Sammi for what she did to Carl and Ian. Debbie looks online for methods of torture, and she hatches a plan to sneak roofies into Sammi’s soda, duct tape her to a chair, hook her nipples up to car jumper cables, and electrocute her into leaving the Gallaghers alone. At first, Debbie is demonically ecstatic about her plan, but while she and Mickey drag Sammi to the chair to duct tape her to it, Debbie remarks that Sammi’s eyes are open and wonders aloud if that is normal. Mickey makes sure Sammi isn’t awake, and checks her heart rate. “Aw, fuck,” he says. “What?” Debbie asks. “She’s dead,” Mickey answers. “Looks like you got that car battery for nothing,” he adds with a laugh as Debbie stares at him in horror.
She begins freaking out and whips out her phone to call an ambulance, but Mickey confiscates it, not wanting them to get in trouble for Sammi’s murder. Their ordeal ends up being horrifyingly funny, and they try to think of ways to get rid of Sammi’s body. Mickey thinks out loud, asks Debbie if she has a hacksaw, then takes it back, saying it’s too messy. They decide to shove Sammi’s body in the moving crate she had rented, and believe that’s the end of that. Until Frank and Bianca end up witnessing their suspicious behavior, that is. Luckily, they’re too psyched about smoking crack to care and leave Mickey and Debbie alone.
Sammi is assumed dead until the very end of the episode. We see the moving crate on the flatbed of a truck drive past, and hear a voice that sounds a lot like Sammi’s screaming for help.
His mother Monica, who also suffers from bipolar disorder, comes to visit him in prison. Apparently Ian is the only one that has still been in contact with her, and he tells her about how similar his family thinks he is to her, which is evidenced in phrases like “pulling a Monica.” He had reached out to her because he needed someone who “gets him.” Monica gives him some advice about living with bipolar disorder, and tells him that he will encounter many people in his life who will try to fix him, but also tells him that he should find people who accept him for who he is, mental illness and all.
He ends up getting released from military prison and goes away with Monica. His family and Mickey find out about him being released to Monica, and Mickey tries to call him. But Ian ignores Mickey’s call as his mom tries to flag down cars to hitch a ride on. They hitchhike out of town on the back of a truck, in the company of a random dude and a big fluffy dog.
Frank and Bianca witnessing Debbie and Mickey hide Sammi’s body.
Frank: “What’s in the crate?”
Mickey: “How the fuck should I know?”
Frank: “You were locking it.”
Mickey (quickly): “I wasn’t locking it, I never touched that lock, get your eyes checked.”
Debbie (quickly): “It’s true, I was out here, he never touched it.”
Mickey notices Bianca.
Mickey: “The fuck’s a girl like that doing with Frank anyways?”
Bianca, looking at Frank’s fake passport.
Bianca: “Who’s Diego Mustafa?”
Frank: “I have no idea, but it’s worked before!”