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Perez Hilton’s Reign of Terror on ‘Celebrity Big Brother’

michelle visage

This season of Celebrity Big Brother has been a hot mess from the get-go.

Jeremy Jackson a.k.a. the kid from Baywatch was thrown out for sexually assaulting glamour model Chloe Goodman in the bathroom, and then soap opera actor Ken Morley soon followed for continuing to make offensive (read: racist and sexist) remarks, despite getting a warning from Big Brother. Those two incidents already put a bad taste in my mouth.

Then you have Perez Hilton and Katie Hopkins, two loudmouths (and professional trolls) mostly known for what they write on the Internet, warring with each other. Katie hates fat people. Perez was a former fattie. You get the idea.

It took a matter of hours for Perez to show us why punched him in the face that one time. He’s incredibly obnoxious, attention-seeking, manipulative, shit-stirring, etc. And I’m not sure how much of what we’re seeing during these episodes is the real Perez Hilton, and how much of it is Perez putting on an act because he thinks this will make the British public like him (or at least vote to keep him in the house).

This week, Cami Li ended up being crowned the Queen of the Faeries and she chose… Perez Hilton to be her King. It makes no sense because Cami despises Perez, but she said in the Diary Room that he was the only male housemate who would play the part (the other men are complete bores). What Cami didn’t expect, however, is that Perez would also be immune from nominations. Oh, Cami…

When it came time to nominate people, Cami chose to put up Alexander (late ’80s R&B singer) and Alicia (the dictionary definition of “plastic surgery gone wrong”), while Perez chose to put up Chloe (Cameron Diaz’s butt double) and Michelle Visage (no explanation needed).

Here’s my breakdown of the remaining housemates:

He seems like a nice person, but I wasn’t a fan of him telling Chloe that she needs to cover up more. I think he was coming from a place of sincerity, unlike Ken who seems to have an issue with women in general. But this is yet another case of a guy telling a girl how she should behave in order to “avoid” being sexually assaulted. Not cool. Other than that, I don’t have a problem with Alexander. I like that he’s not on Team Perez, but he isn’t really contributing that much and I doubt I would notice his absence.

I feel sorry for Alicia. She comes across as very vulnerable and I don’t like that Katie and Cami have been picking on her for the past few days. Katie has been constantly talking about how Alicia is stupid and only has one brain cell. She’s just an easy target for Katie to insult. With Cami, it seems like she inherently dislikes Alicia for no reason whatsoever. It can’t be that Alicia isn’t smart, because Cami didn’t even know what “shrill” meant. Their problem seems to stem from Alicia stealing a few bananas, but Cami said that she doesn’t even eat bananas. So…? Cami also had an issue with Alicia not fessing up to her about her (allegedly) fake butt. Cami just seems like a very unpleasant person, but we’ll get to that in a minute.

Again, the men this season haven’t been contributing very much. Calum is no exception. He seems like a very laid back guy, which I like. But it doesn’t make for very interesting television. I suppose he’s the only male eye-candy left in the house, so that’s one reason for him to stay.

Cami Li
Cami has mistaken “feisty” to mean “loud” and “insane.” Because that’s all she is. She’s loud, shrill, very aggressive, and borderline crazy. Some people might find that entertaining television, but I don’t. It’s just non-stop yelling, isn’t it? And I can’t help but feel that she’s putting on a show for the cameras.

I think Chloe might be favorite. She isn’t afraid to stand up for herself, she voices her opinions (without being mean-spirited like Katie), and she doesn’t scream at people for no reason like Cami. I do think she’s vulnerable for eviction, however. Unfortunately.

Katie has proven she isn’t nearly as quick-witted as she would like people to believe. However, in a battle between Katie and Perez, I’m going to go with Katie’s side. So I already hate Perez for making me take Katie’s side. I also don’t like that she’s being so cruel to Alicia.

I couldn’t tell you one thing about Kavana (or “Kav”) at this point. He had a hit song called “I Can Make You Feel Good,” and that’s pretty much it. He’s a glorified background extra, at this point.

A few housemates have nicknamed him “Switzerland” because he never takes a side and he always walks out of the room whenever there’s an argument. Maybe it’s just his nature to be non-confrontational, but it makes for a very boring housemate. Speak up, Keith!

I love Michelle Visage. I love how she handles the drama in the house without acting bossy like Nadia or going into hysterics like Cami Li. She’s very mature, reasonable, and down-to-earth and she’s probably the most intelligent person in the house. I would love it if she won the whole thing. I love her disdain for Perez, as well. I hope she survives this upcoming eviction!

I really liked Nadia at the start, but her being so up Perez’s ass isn’t a good look for her. She thinks she’s being peacemaker, but she just comes across as bossy. I like that she supported Chloe when the bathroom incident with Jeremy happened, but I don’t like seeing her poke her head in everybody’s business. Stop acting like everyone’s mother!

Patsy is very similar to the men in that she isn’t contributing very much to the house, from what we can see during the episodes. She seems kind of miserable half the time. This week, Chloe was upset with her for saving Perez (as opposed to saving her), and she cried when Perez made her feel like she had been an Accidental Racist. I like her, but she isn’t really doing that much.

What else is there to say about Perez besides pointing out the obvious? If he left, the house would be a very different place, that’s for sure. Whether it would be for good or bad, I have no idea.