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‘Are You The One?’ Season 2 Episode 7 Recap: “Hot Salsa”

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Last week on Are You The One, the house got zero matches for the second time ever. Everyone is really disappointed by the results and it’s finally dawning on people like Anthony that they suck at this game and it could very well cost them $1 million (to be split among 20 people).

Brandon wants to coordinate and play with strategy but nobody wants to listen to him. In an interview, Briana talks about wanting to kill him because he thinks he’s the god of the house. “Get your head out of your ass.” Maybe I’m reading that scene completely wrong, but doesn’t it seem like Brandon has a point?

More slut-shaming from Layton in 3… 2… 1… Now that he definitively knows she’s not his match, Layton claims he’s no longer attracted to Jenni because of what she “did” with Anthony, basically implying that she’s used goods. He is the worst. Meanwhile, Jenni is feeling grateful that he’s not her match and gurl I would be, too. John is contemplating going after Jenni but he’s worried about being rejected.

Getaway Challenge: The teams are Ashley & Dario, John & Jenni, Brandon & Jasmine, Alex & Alexandria, Layton & Ellie, Briana & Anthony, Garland & Jess, and Nathan & Christina. Tyler is left out, as usual.

In Round 1, the girls have to build a pyramid out of a bunch of cups using their mouths. Jess & Garland don’t even complete the first part of the challenge. Next, they have to eat 5 tubes of “meat” a.k.a. hot dogs. Both Ellie and Christina throw up over the hot dogs. Layton is disappointed that Ellie gave up, but Ashley’s resilience and impressive performance in the challenge means she’s caught his eye. Uh-oh. Run, Ashley. Run!

In the last round, they have to “dip their bums and thighs” into a tub of honey and move a bunch of balls around…

The winners are John & Jenni, Brandon & Jasmine, and Alex & Alexandria.

As a bonus, Ryan Devlin announces that they all get to go on a party bus called “Optimus Prime” because they need extra help figuring out these matches. Of course, this leads to a ton of hook-ups and loads of alcohol being consumed. (It’s like the White Party from Season 1.)

On the bus, Dario admires Ashley’s body. Both of them seem to be into each other.

Jasmine and Alex are (seemingly) opposites but they’re extremely attracted to each other and they end up hooking up on the beach.

Since Tyler is the only girl who hasn’t kissed anyone, she decides tonight is the night to change that. She makes out with Garland.

Fast forward to John & Jenni’s fairy tale love story, which doesn’t seem all that believable since we’ve spent multiple episodes watching Jenni flip flop between Layton and Anthony and John go after Christina. But Jenni is suddenly impressed with John and writes off Anthony and Layton as mere distractions.

Meanwhile, Layton has a one-on-one conversation with Ashley about being attracted to her and thinking she could be his match. But Ashley can’t take Layton seriously if he continues to hook up with Jess. Layton scoffs at Jess and says she’s “crazy”, despite having made out with her on the bus.

Nathan and Christina also get close. Somewhere, Brandon is seething with jealousy.

Back at the house, with everyone completely plastered, Tyler and Garland go to the Boom Boom Room (because Tyler gets horny when she’s really drunk). Garland finishes a bit… early. Tyler: “I’ve definitely had better.” She thinks Garland should be a little more advanced if he’s actually slept with over 100 women.

Garland and Jess have a heart to heart. Jess thinks she and Garland have a lot in common in regard to their approach to sex and relationships. In a diary confessional, Garland talks about how his father passed away when he was young and growing up he didn’t have a lot of male role models. He thinks he would be a better man if his father had been around.

The next morning, everyone is predictably hung over. Dario and Ashley hang out by the pool and talk about their exes. Apparently, Ashley’s ex was crazy and he would stalk her Facebook activity. Dario, meanwhile, used to get into arguments with his ex-girlfriend all the time.

On John & Jenni’s date, Jenni says she wanted them to match her up with someone whose name started with “J” so it would sound cool. (The editors put in some kooky music in the background during this moment.)

Meanwhile, the house gets into an argument about who to send to the Truth Booth. Some people want to send Alex & Alexandria, but Briana thinks that’s stupid because they are the weakest match. Briana would rather put John & Jenni into the Truth Booth because they’re the strongest couple.

She ends up getting her way, because John & Jenni are voted into the Truth Booth. Both of them have hit it off and are really hoping it’s a match.

And… they are a perfect match!

The house erupts in celebration and it has to be a huge boost in morale considering how terribly they were doing for the past few weeks. It has to be a huge relief for the audience, too — it was for me, at least. It was getting really boring watching them fail week after week and it was hard to get invested in anything.

Soon, Briana goes into strategy mode. John & Jenni were together at the match-up ceremony during Week 5 when they only got one correct match, which means they can eliminate all the other couples who sat together at that ceremony.

Brandon: “It sucks that I’ve come to the point in this game where I have to pick the lesser of two evils.” He’s referring to Briana and Tyler, who are the only two possible candidates for being Brandon’s match.

At the match-up ceremony, we get a little bit of Honeymoon Suite news from Shelby, who talks about how she and Curtis are still sleeping in separate beds because of Curtis’ feelings for Briana.

The pairs at the match-up ceremony:

Dario & Ashley
Alex & Jasmine
Layton & Ellie
Brandon & Tyler
Anthony & Briana
Nathan & Christina
Garland & Jess

Layton wants to be with Ashley, but Dario already picked her, so he goes with Ellie. Ellie says she would never date Layton.

Brandon proclaims he will never stop fighting for Christina. Is this supposed to be grand romantic gesture? Because no. Neither Tyler nor Briana want to be Brandon’s perfect match. Tyler says he’s too emotional and clingy, neither of which are very attractive traits. Briana: “Brandon is like the step-child that I hate.” Brandon & Tyler aren’t exactly thrilled to be sitting next to each other.

Garland & Alexandria have a lot in common but he thinks of Jess as the female version of him. Ultimately, Alexandria is the girl left out in this match-up ceremony.

They finally get 6 beams of light, which is the most they’ve ever gotten so far.

Truth Booth? John & Jenni
Boom Boom Room? Tyler & Garland
Other hook-ups? John & Jenni, Alex & Jasmine, Nathan & Christina