We’re inching our way closer to the month of October, and you know what that means – horror movies out the wazoo to celebrate Halloween, or All Hallow’s Eve, or whatever it is you want to call that holiday where annoying little kids dress up to knock on my door and demand candy.
Where was I – oh, right, horror movies. Love ’em. Here’s a list of ten upcoming horror films that have me excited for the coming months:
1. V/H/S: Viral
I liked the first V/H/S movie and had a slightly less enthusiastic response to its sequel V/H/S/2, but I still have high hopes for V/H/S: Viral. Why? Beats me. Details about each of the horror shorts have been released if you want to go looking for ’em, but in the interests of keeping y’all as spoiler-free as possible, I’ll just say the overarching story has to do with a bunch of unruly teenagers looking to record the next big viral video, only to become a violent Internet sensation themselves.
V/H/S: Viral has a limited theatrical release date of November 21, 2014, with a VOD release on October 23.
Daniel Radcliffe’s first foray into horror films (The Woman In Black) left a lot to be desired for me, but damn, look at this trailer for Horns. It’s full of the kind of dark humor that’s right up my alley. Following the murder of his girlfriend Merrin (Juno Temple), the town has turned on Ig Perrish (Daniel Radcliffe), believing him to be guilty of the crime. When horns suddenly grow on Ig’s head, he discovers they give him strange powers – powers he intends to use to find Merrin’s real killer.
Horns hits theaters October 31, 2014.
“Here’s what I see: the woods, a lake, no one around.” I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: don’t ever be a nature person. Horrible things happen in nature, like your new spouse being body-snatched in the middle of the woods. Spend your honeymoon in Maui or something instead.
Rose Leslie (Game of Thrones) and Harry Treadaway (Penny Dreadful) star as Bea and Paul, happy newlyweds who experience strange occurrences in their cabin in the woods. Honeymoon will be released September 12, 2014.
Just looking at the posters for this is giving me the creeps. There are only two things I don’t fuck with when it comes to horror: possessed dolls, and possessed children. (Considering practically all the children I know happen to be possessed by bratty, spoiled, screaming demons anyway, I’m slowly getting over that last one – but I don’t think I’ll ever stop being freaked out by porcelain dolls.) Annabelle expands on the story of the doll we saw glimpses of in The Conjuring. In the trailer, an expecting couple is brutalized by their neighbors, who broke in to get to the demonic doll.
I’ll be honest: there is no way in hell I’m watching this. But if you’re so inclined, Annabelle will creep its way to theaters October 3, 2014.
5. Dead Snow: Red vs. Dead
Okay, this looks hilarious. Nazi zombie apocalypse, so much evisceration, that “cheeeeeese” moment. I want it, and I want it now.
Of course, I still haven’t seen the first Dead Snow, in which a group of students in Norway try to survive a Nazi zombie attack. Dead Snow 2 continues where the first film left off, with the only survivor of the attack, Martin (Vegar Hoel), waking up with a zombie arm grafted onto him. Together with a ragtag group of zombie enthusiasts, Martin attempts to stop the Nazi zombies from fulfilling their final mission.
Dead Snow: Red vs. Dead has already premiered at Sundance and in Norway, with a U.S. theatrical release date pending.
6. The Babadook
This one’s actually been out for awhile, but there hasn’t been real news on a U.S. release date beyond “in 2014” so I’m counting it as upcoming. The reviews coming out of its Sundance premiere have been raving, so I have high expectations for The Babadook.
A distant single mother struggles with raising her son after her husband’s untimely death, but a different kind of struggle begins when her son discovers a sinister storybook about a monster called the “Babadook.” Release date TBA.
Earlier I said there were only two things I didn’t fuck with when it came to horror. I lied. There’s a third. It’s clowns.
And okay, it’s not like clowns actually scare me, it’s just that their aesthetic weirds me the hell out and I don’t get why they’re a thing. I don’t get why anyone would try to hire a clown for their kid’s birthday. I don’t get why someone would see a costume as horrifying-looking as that one and think, “You know what would be awesome? If I put this on and wore it around all day!”
But that’s basically what happens in this Eli Roth-helmed project. Man puts on clown costume, man can’t seem to take it off, man gets possessed and goes around slaughtering children. Much as I dislike clowns, I don’t think I can miss this one. IMDb lists Clown‘s release date as October 31, 2014.
8. As Above, So Below
I’ve written about As Above, So Below before, and my feelings towards it since then haven’t changed. I know I’ve seen variations of this movie a million times before, but something about it still intrigues me – mostly finding out what these peoples’ deep dark secrets are. Like the dude with the burning car. What’s up with that, man?
The release date for As Above, So Below is August 29, 2014.
The premise seems a bit (a lot) like Human Centipede, but with an emphasis on the psychological rather than gross-out goriness. Podcaster Wallace Bryton’s (Justin Long) job is traveling around interviewing “weird people.” When he goes missing during a meeting with a mysterious walrus-obsessed man named Mr. Howe, his coworker (Haley Joel Osment) and girlfriend (Génesis Rodríguez) go searching for him. Meanwhile, Howe torments and tortures Bryton, calling him “Mr. Tusk” and doing his very best to turn Bryton into a walrus. It’s the comedic moments here that interest me: the trailer’s final line of “I don’t wanna die… in Canada” and the twenty-second hysterical screaming bit.
Tusk will be released on September 19, 2014. You can read a write-up of the film’s panel at Comic-Con here.
10. Trick ‘r Treat 2
This sequel to beloved cult classic Trick ‘r Treat isn’t even going to be released until October 2015, but you know what, I’m too excited to not put it down. It’s still technically “upcoming” so it counts, alright?
Until we get more details on this project, enjoy this adorable FEAR.net short of wee Sam at a bus stop. So cute. Let me adopt him.
What horror movies are you excited for? Sound off in the comments below!