I love Regina Spektor and all, but Jesus – this intro is way too fuckin’ long. Why doesn’t Netflix have an automatic skip button?
Anyways, on to the recap!
Piper and “Crazy Eyes”
We left off last episode with “Crazy Eyes” (Uzo Aduba) feeling up Chapman (Taylor Schilling) in the movie room. Looks like Chapman has got an unwanted prison romance situation on her hands! “Crazy Eyes” has decided that Chapman is her wife, and Chapman has to figure out a way to let her down – gently. Though gentle and subtle might not be the solution here.
After Burset (Laverne Cox) gives her some advice about prison life, Chapman uses the door-less stall to pee since the one with the door is occupied by a seemingly crazy woman talking to Satan. “Crazy Eyes” appears in the mirror and watches Chapman. Creepy!
Meanwhile, Vause (Laura Prepon) tries to make nice with Chapman but Chapman still can’t stand to be around her. She blames Vause for telling the police that Chapman was ever involved in Vause’s international drug trade, but Vause denies it. Unsure of what to believe, Chapman asks her fiance Larry (Jason Biggs) to do some investigating.
Eventually, Chapman is very blunt with “Crazy Eyes” and tells her that she is not her prison wife and she doesn’t want to be. “Crazy Eyes” seems to take this in stride… at least until the final scenes of the episode where she squats down outside Chapman’s cubicle and pisses all over the floor.
We go back in time to the moment where Chapman first met Vause. She was applying to be a waitress at some little bar/cafe place, and Vause noticed her right away and came over to talk. The two had instant chemistry.
This week, the episode focuses on Burset, a transgender inmate.
We learn through flashbacks that Burset used to be a firefighter. Eventually, she made the transition from male to female. Her wife was very supportive throughout all of it, but her son has a more difficult time coming to terms with it.
While Burset is trying on a dress and receiving make-up and fashion tips, Burset’s wife asks her for one favor – for Burset to keep her penis. Of course, Burset can’t do that.
At the shoe store, Burset’s son is trying on sneakers when Burset’s old firefighter colleague runs into them. He’s visibly uncomfortable to be around Burset and awkwardly walks away from her, while Burset’s son runs out of the store in shame.
Later, Burset is arrested for the stolen credit cards she’s been using to pay for the pills, surgery, etc. that has allowed her to make the transition from male to female. Burset’s son doesn’t look up from the stairwell as the police escort Burset away.
Burset in Present-Day
Burset’s learns that the prison has changed her hormone pill dosage. Burset is really upset and talks to Healey about seeing a doctor because she needs her estrogen. Healey explains that she can’t see a doctor unless it’s an emergency, so Burset swallows a piece of the bobblehead on Healey’s desk. “I’d like to report an emergency.”
Okay, that was pretty badass. Burset is fast becoming one of my faves on this show.
So Burset finally gets to meet with a doctor, but the doctor decides to take Burset off her medication completely – in case Burset had liver damage. It’s total bullshit, because it’s only because the hospital doesn’t want to be liable. And this is really horrible news for Burset because she needs those pills.
Next, Burset talks to Red about possibly smuggling in some pills since Red has “connections”. But Red declines and mentions that “Pornstache” (Pablo Schreiber) might be able to help – but that’s not a very appealing route to take because “Pornstache” is a dick.
During a visit from Burset’s wife, Burset asks her to possibly smuggle in some pills… but Burset’s wife won’t do it and she’s a little angry that Burset would even ask her.
Daya and Bennett
We find out through conversation between Bennett (Matt McGorry)and “Pornstache” that Bennett was a soldier in Afghanistan.
Daya’s new roommate in the cubicles complains about Daya (Dascha Polanco) putting up one of her drawings on the wall. Bennett comes over and allows Daya to keep the drawing on the wall.
In another scene between the two, Daya struggles to get her shirt over her head after it got snagged on her necklace, and a flustered Bennett stumbles over to help. They share a heated look, but Bennett runs away just as quickly as he ran over.
Janae Watson and Miss Claudette
Janae (Vicky Jeudy) is sent to bunk with Miss Claudette (Michelle Hurst), but Janae’s attitude rubs Miss Claudette the wrong way. Janae dismisses Miss Claudette’s “rules” and says that she will do whatever she wants, whenever she wants.
The other inmates, including Poussey (Samira Wiley), let Janae know that she shouldn’t mess with Miss Claudette since rumor has it that she murdered someone. Janae is a little rattled by this information, but tries to maintain her tough exterior.
Eventually, Miss Claudette has Janae moved and Chapman becomes Miss Claudette’s new roommate.